We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
