she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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