I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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