I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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