I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
