I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
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