I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
