you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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