Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
