I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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