you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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