Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize