This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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