He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
