I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize