I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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