whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
