Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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