You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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