Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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