Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
