**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
