3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
