dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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