My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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