She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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