ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
