FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
