She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
