How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
