Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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