Quick, to the slutcave!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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