You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
