What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
