this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
