It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
