No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
