Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Say something about gay babies.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
