She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's official drugs can't kill me
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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