Don't you send me to vm
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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