I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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