oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
