just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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