Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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