hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
