U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she looked like the before picture.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
