I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
