i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i think i just lost a toe
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
