just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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