please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Boobs are out for the taking
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize