My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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