all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's rum buckets o'clock
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
