Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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