We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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