I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
