he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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