haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
