"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
