some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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