you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize