I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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