Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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