Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize